As I lay under this magnificent tree, with a slight gentle breeze touching my face and fall leaves falling over my arms.  I look up toward her and witness this magnificent tree as a pillar of strength; with the God given ability to withstand the many seasons of change.  I feel her roots firmly planted in the earth's surface.  I see her capacity to offer shade and quiet to all those who care to take in her beauty.  I see an enduring emblem of survival and stamina.  I see her as consistent, brave, and sure.  She is the magnificently beautiful Oak Tree.  

No one wants to be hurt!  No one wants to be the target of someone's evil plan!  No one wants to be aggravated, uninvited, excluded, or mistreated...no one!  

Yet, at times we may find ourselves walking and living in all of this exclusion, evil, negativity and hatefulness!  

What must we do?  What can we do?  When you know you have been the victim of another's planning & plotting of your very demise; it is not easy to understand or accept.  

FORGIVENESS such an unused and fearful word to the majority of us.  What is FORGIVENESS?  

"the action or process of  forgiving or being forgiven."  

Webster gives this definition:  "To stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong); to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something); to forgive someone for (something wrong)."

How do you STOP feeling some kind of way toward someone, whom you know deliberately planned and plotted to do EVIL and HARM toward you and those you love?  

As a genuine christian FORGIVENESS has always been something I've experienced from God.  He forgives me on a daily basis, as I repent.  My thankfulness for HIS forgiveness has not halted me in forgiving others; regardless of their motive toward me or others. 

However this most recent maliciousness toward my family and those I love, has been a challenge. This challenge is one that I am prayerfully & convicted toward learning from.  

Matthew 6:14-15  ESV  

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."  

     I need FORGIVENESS! I choose NOT to withhold it from others! 

FORGIVENESS from GOD is conditional on whether or not I choose to forgive others.  I know that I need forgiveness...ALWAYS.  Who would I be to withhold forgiveness from another and thus lose my soul?  

My faith was tested in most recent months.

I can truly say, as I look over all that has happened, I have been tested beyond anything I could have ever thought possible, because of the intentional and calculated motive of another.  

The inflicted pain and sorrow deposited upon the lives of me and my family have been the hardest of pills to swallow; because it was inflicted by the very ones who call themselves christians.  

My futile and declining ability to wrap my brain around the purposeful evil of people has rendered me speechless.  I am reminded, that these individuals have been taught & obeyed the same truth; yet continue to walk toward the evil that plagues their very life.  

To say it breaks my heart is an understatement.  As I write this, I still find it very hard to grasp the profoundly pernicious and vile behavior of those who claim to love Jesus!

Then, I look at myself, and all of the times I have sinned & fallen short.  Amidst all of these thoughts, I personally have NOT sought to consciously and intentionally hurt my spiritual family, through calculated plotting and maneuvering.  

You see, when you truly LOVE God, you don't set out to hurt or damage another, because of your own selfish ungodliness.  You seek to teach through example of the LOVE you are experiencing through Jesus! 

My efforts are never to DIVIDE, but to REUNITE 

souls toward GOD!  I am NOT perfect, but I would not set out to presumptuously hinder the soul of another.

Galatians 4:16

"Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?"

God's TRUTH saves and RECONCILES man back to GOD!  It's not ME, but GOD speaking through me!  This is LOVE not HATE!

It is God's TRUTH that moves to CONFRONT, so one's  soul is NOT lost for eternity. 

When we boldly decide to practice sin on the continuum, we HINDER our INFLUENCE and CRUCIFY Jesus all over again.  

Romans 6:1-4

"What shall we say then?  Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?  By no means!  How can we (christians) who died to sin still live in it?  Do you know not that all of us "who have been baptized into His death? we were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life."  

As a "new christian" we are to walk toward a new life in Christ, not grieving the Holy Spirit through deliberate disobedience.  This means we are no longer allowed to do, or say whatever we want.  All that I do must meet God's approval & if it does NOT, I must still choose HIS way and NOT my own.  

2 Corinthians 3:2

"You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts to be known and read by all."  

People rather see a life lived in fellowship with God, than lifeless words spoken.  

Galatians 6:10

"So then as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."  

This passage let's me know that I am to do good to all men, but most specifically to my church family first.  This means correction for when one has fallen away from God.  

TRANSFORMATION:  

"I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received."  

• Many will do wrong to you and never acknowledge their wrongdoing.  
• Many will speak to you with a handshake and smile while never offering an apology. 
•  Many will expect you to be a doormat without ever offering you an explanation for their behavior. 
• Many will see their evil plan as merely doing what was necessary to secure their future. 
• Many will never ever apologize.  
  

Whenever I am wrestling with something I always go to the Bible for answers.  I seek God fervently in prayer.  My goal and prayer is to do all that God commands of me and to ultimately go to heaven.    Allow me to share a passage that is helping me during this time of trial: